August, 2009

3 Invaluable Tips for Mothers
Interested in Breastfeeding

I have been breastfeeding my son Landon now for two years and ten months, and if someone would have told me that I would breastfeed him this long, I would have looked at that person in disbelief. I am not only nursing a toddler — I have become an avid breastfeeding advocate and blog about my experience with it and other parenting adventures at Dagmar’s momsense (DagmarBleasdale.com). I encourage moms to breastfeed and provide them with the resources and information they might need for a successful, enjoyable experience. I want as many women as possible to learn that their health, not only their baby’s, will benefit greatly from the many advantages breastfeeding offers.

Here are three things I want every expecting or new mom to know:

1. Learn about breastfeeding long before the baby arrives: I was fortunate that I attended a couple of meeting with new, breastfeeding moms at the Pump Station in Los Angeles where it became very clear after only one hour that breastfeeding might be natural but definitely not easy. There were so many different issues those moms brought up! I think a lot of new moms get discouraged when they face stumbling blocks because they didn’t anticipate them. If you mentally prepare yourself that it might take a little while for you and the baby to figure out how to nurse correctly, it is easier to accept the challenge and stick with it. Read as much as possible about the topic, but more importantly, find a local group of breastfeeding moms (try Meetup.com) or attend La Leche League meetings while you are pregnant. The breastfeeding support and information you will garner is invaluable, and you will know whom to call when you need help.
2. Breastfeeding isn’t easy, and lining up the right support is crucial: It helped that I was determined to breastfeed — I didn’t even think to buy formula “just in case” and tossed out the samples from the hospital — but breastfeeding didn’t came naturally to me, as it doesn’t for so many women. Landon nursed every 25 minutes in the beginning, and for two weeks I was in immense pain every time he latched on. Only the second lactation specialist diagnosed Landon as a lazy baby who didn’t open his mouth nearly enough for an accurate latch. The other moms of the support group I belonged to were right — after a few days or weeks, breastfeeding doesn’t hurt if the baby latches on correctly. I was lucky to have those other moms as cheerleaders. Find your own support team — don’t be afraid to ask for help, and don’t wait to ask until you have a screaming, hungry, uncooperative baby on your hand! In the hospital, ask for the lactation consultant for guidance. If you have a midwife or doula, she will help you. I encourage every new mom to reach out to other breastfeeding moms, to call the La Leche League for free information, support, or a consultation when issues arise, or to call, e-mail, or tweet me for help. More resources or links to other organizations and groups can be found on my blog. I also have a blogroll of mommy bloggers who write about breastfeeding.
3. Breastfeeding success has a lot to do with the correct latch: Breastfeeding can be a difficult experience in the beginning, and that is usually due to the baby’s incorrect latch. A bad latch can often be corrected by trying a different position, using nipple shields, or inserting the nipple in a different way, which solved my problem immediately. Be patient with your baby and yourself — you are both getting to know each other. Find out if your baby is tongue tied or has a high palette, those are common reasons for a bad latch as well. Again, see a lactation specialist, La Leche leader, or talk to your pediatrician. Choose a pediatrician who supports your decision to breastfeed, if he or she doesn’t, find one who does!

To this day, I feel most like a mother when I am breastfeeding my son. My intuition that I would enjoy and cherish breastfeeding my child was correct, and I love the close bond it has created between us. And after learning about the many health benefits it provides not only for him but also for me, I am even more glad that he hasn’t self-weaned yet. Once he does, I will continue to enjoy helping other moms on their breastfeeding journeys, be it a short or a long one.

Dagmar Bleasdale grew up in Germany and moved to Los Angeles over 15 years ago. A married mom, she has one son who is 2 years old and still nursing. Dagmar works from home as a freelance editor, proofreader, and blogger! She started blogging to share information about breastfeeding – what she learned works and doesn’t work as well as the benefits – and to become a resource and trusted “friend” her readers can rely on for information. She is very passionate about her writing and in addition to breastfeeding, Dagmar also posts entries about Doula-assisted/unmedicated childbirth, attachment parenting, co-sleeping, natural remedies, frugal/green living, raising a healthy, creative, well-adjusted, bilingual child (without an XBox)!

Ok, so we’ve all at least heard about Jon & Kate Plus 8, right? I’m not going to get too deep into any specifics about this family – mainly because I think it would be rather difficult to be original since every website, magazine, gossip column, and tabloid known to man has covered every possible angle of all the juicy bits of drama surrounding this worn out, over-publicized, privacy-starved, now separated “family” – and I use that term very loosely. I use them as an example simply because they are the best known in the series of family reality TV “stars” – a term which I also use extremely loosely. I know they’ve faced an immense amount of criticism, but being a rational, intelligent, well-meaning parent myself… I have to ask myself if they reeeeeaaallly weighed the pros and cons of this whole thing prior to jumping head first into this circus! I mean, can we honestly think we’re not kidding ourselves to believe sticking a NATIONAL network of cameras into an already chaotic life in the midst of a family with eight children can EVER be a good thing? Let’s look at this briefly just touching the high points.

1. Marriage is hard. Even couples who have NO children have added stress after they get married. There’s figuring out how to effectively blend yourself into this new “oneness” without losing yourself in the process and then of course you find out all these new things about your partner you never were previously aware of which sincerely irritate the CRAP out of you… Just living with another person, sharing all your – well, everything – with them (in my case, even my toothbrush, unbeknownst to me – *gag*) and I mean, face it – it’s definitely got its draw backs. Don’t get me wrong. Marriage is a beautiful thing. I LOVE my husband and wouldn’t dream of changing one thing about my life, but I also wouldn’t dream of adding cameras to it either. Just sayin…
2. Parenting is hard. Parents who have planned out every aspect of their pregnancy from conception to delivery and every idea of how they believe their family is going to operate soon find out that once they actually get into implementing those plans, they wasted a pretty great deal of time. LOL Seriously, there is nothing more UNpredictable and impossible to plan for than parenthood. Actually, it’s rough enough just planning ONE family outing. Planning your entire LIFE? Forget about it. Now, keeping that in mind… let’s try convincing ourselves that it’s not going to complicate things to have like, oh I don’t know 60 MILLION people (?!?!?!) judging and critiquing your every interaction with not only your spouse but also your children and then discussing how they could do it like 10 times better than you – on the NEWS. Yeah, that’s not gonna hurt a THING. Psh.
3. Life is hard. One thing you MUST have to keep things flowing properly in a marriage/family is mutual respect. You cannot attempt to belittle someone especially in the company of others and that end up being okay. Not. Gonna. Happen. When you allow an entire NATION into your home, there are going to be consequences – and the NATION isn’t going to experience them. They’ll just watch while you do.
4. Resources get limited, but hard work pays off. I do realize that in keeping with life being hard, a family this large is obviously going to have financial needs. My husband and I have 5 kids. That’s not quite EIGHT *whoa* but hey, close enough. Is it easy? HECK no. Is it super expensive? Uh, DUH. Do we have hard times? PLENTY! But, we make it… and not only do we get stronger in the process, but we get closer and we develop even more of an appreciation for one another through all the bumps we face. Easy outs to problem situations almost always have high prices to pay. If participating in the show was purely for financial gain, they got it. But at what price? And, let’s just point out here that if you *choose* to have a family this size, then obviously there should be a plan in place that doesn’t lead to its inevitable breakup.

What’s my point? Well, quite simply: family is a very complex, unique, and valuable personal AND social structure. It requires a certain finesse … there are no rule books, instruction manuals, or perfected methods at creating – or maintaining – a successful family. But one thing I can probably bank on is the fact that when you open your family up to the opinions, criticisms, and observation of others, it’s only going to affect you negatively. (Unless of course we’re talking about a marriage counselor; that’s a totally different ballgame.) People don’t have your best interests at heart. People do not care if you stay together or break apart. All they care about is entertainment. You have to consider how decisions you make are going to affect the entirety of your family unit right down to its finest, most fragile fibers not just immediately but how those decisions will impact you years down the road.

While I do enjoy reality TV (because, let’s face it – watching other people is intriguing… we all wanna know how other people function, right?) I will be the first one to say that I can’t see anything helpful about allowing media into your private family life. If money is your only concern and you’re willing to chance – at best – the possibility of some serious confusion in your life, then by all means – go for it. But if you value your marriage and your family, when it comes to benefits of families in the media – not so much. This is of course just my opinion, which doesn’t make it “law” and doesn’t mean it’s right. It is just what *I* think about the way families should respect their OWN privacy enough to not risk inviting problems in by compromising it.

What do YOU think?

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It’s not easy for me to make a decision. I can stand down the toothpaste aisle for 20 minutes debating between cavity prevention and extra whitening – Which one’s cheaper? Is the brand name better? – I want to pick the right one and it’s just toothpaste! Now multiply that times a gazillion, and you’ll know how difficult it is for me to decide when to try to have my first child.

I get all the good feelings. I’ve been married nearly five years, I have a degree, a condo, successful career, and a cute dog. What else do I really want? (Besides a family, that is…) But now that I’ve decided that’s a plan I want to pursue in the near future, it’s my job to do what I can to get myself ready.

I’ve been reading news articles on “the perfect age” to have a baby. I’ve read about things to eat before conception, good ways to work out, and best positions for conception – Yes, even that. Some of it may be “full of it,” sure. But why not have fun in the planning process, and learn as much as I can along the way?

Some people call me an over-planner and premature… But I think there’s beauty in planned pregnancy. Even if it’s extra planned. And I’m excited to have created a journal full of memories I’ll remember forever about wanting to have a child… Long before I even was trying to bring that child into this world.

I’ve found joy in my journey towards motherhood, and I can’t wait to see where the rest of my road leads.

Jennifer Johnson, aka Future Mama, doesn’t believe you have to be a mom to be a “mom blogger” these days. She wants a baby, and then maybe wants a baby, and then definitely sort of wants a baby NOW! Married four years, with a successful journalism career under her belt, she’s already accomplished more than most 23 year-olds. Just no baby… yet. She’s an open book when it comes to what’s on her mind during her journey towards the inevitable baby bump, and she chronicles her voyage on her blog Baby Makin(g) Machine!

Click Here To View Kat’s Wordless Wednesday Post!

Be sure to link our readers to YOUR Wordless Wednesday post In subsequent weeks, both Shynea and Kat will be posting for WW… however, you’ll have to forgive us. In the haste of things, we – um, er – totally forgot about Wordless Wednesday. Oops…

When I first became a mom, nervousness set over me. I had no idea what to expect. I didn’t know where to start. I literally poured over every book to try and learn whatever I could.

Four kids later I am here to say that no parenting book can prepare you for raising your children. Especially when you have a house full of boys. (In my case, four to be exact.)

They don’t give you the good, the bad and the ugly. Like how to realistically stop sibling rivalry or how to remove permanent marker from skin. (In my case, I had to wait about three days and several bath soakings later.) They sugar coat how tiring, stressful and depressing parenting can be sometimes. And they fail to highlight how exciting and rejuvenating and energizing parenting can be at the same time.

I love all of my boys equally. They bring me so much joy, and to say that parenting has saved my life would be an understatement.

Follow me on my journey as I blog about the good, the bad, and the ugly of my parenting experiences living in a “house full of blue” parenting all boys (which include my fiance as well).

katjrobertson: Hey how would you like to be featured next week for @colloquymoms launch party?

NubianQueen06: Sure, would love too! What all would I need to do!

katjrobertson: I just need a bio, a photo, and a post with the same feel as the overall theme of your blog. Topic of your choice.

O.K, don’t panic! I can do this!

As I sit down to try and attempt to write my first official brief Bio and short (ha, ha) blog entry… I reach down on the floor of the Dining Room and pick up a pencil, now… for a clean piece of paper to start off, with no crayon drawings or magic marker hand prints! You see, at my house we have organized chaos! I know where everything is it just does not have a permanent home, yet.

We have no cable, satellite, or Internet. So, I would have to write down my thoughts and feelings then drive to my parents house and use their computer. Which does give me a few moments away from my lovely children. Yes, of course I love my children and family! I would not be able to Homeschool them for the now 9th year if I did not.

Let me start again by introducing my self, on the Internet I like to be known as Nubian or NubianQueen. I’ve been a stay-at-home Mom for 12 years give or take a few weeks of seasonal work like the U.S. Census. For the most part I’ve been home, what I hear a lot of is, “Oh, how fortunate you are to be able to stay at home.” Well it’s mostly been about making sacrifices! But, yes I do believe it has been a joy and a blessing!

New chapter of my life does begins today… Monday August 10th is the BIG day! I begin a job outside of the home! Although, I would love to be one of those Mom’s with wildly successful blogs or stay at home jobs, this blogging thing is all new to me! So, it ain’t happening yet! “It’s time to make the donuts.” (That’s from an old commercial, if you are younger than thirty you may not know or remember it!) LOL

So, with my background being in Communications in the Air Force (Served during Desert Storm). I set out to fill out some job applications! Do you know how intimidating that was? After almost 12 years of no employment, I was forgetting dates, having to just wing it! But, sticking to the truth and not fudging. The hardest part was filling the missing dates when I worked here and there for a few weeks at a time. Well, it all paid off, as today is Orientation! Don’t want to say to much I still have to pass a week of cramming in information! Plus go home and cook, organize my children and get ready for the next day! The one other good thing about this is my lil soldier guy will have to wean from breastmilk, WooHoo! Oh, did I say that out loud! At the rate he was going, he was going to be asking for milk on his wedding day! “Mother, may I have a sip of milk from the bitty, please Mother Dear!?” Welcome to the real world (right).

Ciao for now!

NubianQueen operates NubianQueen06.blogspot.com. She is the wife of a preacher, has been married 22 years, and has four children: PamperedPrincess (13.5), FashionDiva (12), NubianPrincess (9), and Lil Soldier Boy (2.5). Her passions include surfing the internet, amateur blogging, Homeschooling (9 years), gardening, amateur canner/preserver of jam, entrepreneur, and most importantly: keeper of her Home! She served in the Air Force for 5 years and 1 day. (Desert Storm) Be sure to check out her blog. You may also follow her on Twitter @NubianQueen06!

We sincerely apologize for having to push back our initial launch until Monday, August 10, 2009… LIFE HAPPENS, right? However, this is the perfect opportunity for us to revamp our launch plans to include YOU! That’s right – we’re spending this idle week planning a 5-day launch party during which … oops … I almost gave it away! HAHA! Would YOU like to participate in our official launch beginning August 10th? If so, contact us! Email, tweet, or leave us a message on Facebook. Either way you go, you won’t wanna miss being a part of our launch. We are SO excited and the additional time is just allowing us to make it even greater than previously anticipated!

For those simply along for the ride, don’t forget to follow us, fan us, subscribe to our mailings {see the sidebar? yeah, put your email in and POOF, you’ll be updated with all our new posts!}, and show some linky love by snagging our blog button and displaying it somewhere on your blog or website! You can also show support by spreading the word through tweeting and linking to our site on other social media networks such as Ning, MySpace, and Facebook! Don’t miss all of our pre-launch articles, including Menu Plan Monday and Wordless Wednesday memes featuring none other than Mr. Linky so you can show yourself some linky love around here!

We’ll also be posting date and time information for our upcoming TweetChat! Don’t miss it