January, 2010

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• I understand some1 denying an affair {even tho no1 should HAVE an affair…} but 2 deny ur own CHILD? Ultimate Betrayal http://bit.ly/aDysak #
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The people of Haiti are struggling to come to terms with the devastation of the aftermath of an earthquake which reached a magnitude of 7.0…

Photo credit: The Huffington Post

Men are going to be men. Cheating is not anything new. Men have been cheating on their wives and significant others for centuries. As women, we have known this. We may not except these deplorable actions, but we know it.

What does bother me is that someone who has said that we can trust them by holding a public office and attempting to run as president of your great country, the United States of America, denied a child after cheating on his wife. He said the child, in no way could be his.

It was reported that  John Edwards brought his mistress, Rielle Hunter, into his home that he shared with his wife, Elizabeth, while his she was out of town. Not only did he have Rielle in their home, John had her around his kids. Rielle slept with John in the bed that he shared with his wife. Rielle also slept with John many times during his failed presidential campaign. She even gave John a nickname “Love Lips”.  Elizabeth was battling breast cancer while all this was going on. He ultimately fathered a child with Rielle. Only to later deny that the child was biologically his.

John, paternity tests have called you a liar. You had the nerve to call the woman you slept with a “stupid slut.” I wonder what that makes you? You are scum. The scum that sticks to the bottom of my shoe. I am not calling you scum for cheating on your wife as much as I am calling you scum for denying that innocent child that did not ask for you to be her daddy. In my eyes you are not her daddy, you were purely her sperm donor. You should be setting an example for those who voted you into office. Denying children has been an epidemic in this country. If you did not to father a child, you are a well educated and grown man and should know enough about protection. I hope your children do not follow in your footsteps in life.

I am not only disgusted with John for his careless actions, but Rielle was a knowing party in this love triangle. She knew she was dealing with a liar when she made the decision to sleep with a married man. She is at as much fault as good ole John Edwards.

Let’s hear what our readers think:

Should elected officials be held to higher standards than other public figures?

Yesterday, I made a nice snack for the kids – banana pops. They are semi-frozen banana halves on a stick covered with a chocolate shell. I picked mine up and actually got embarrassed to eat it due to its uncanny resemblance to… *ahem* Well, you know.

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Recently, someone sent me a message and asked if I was adjusting to the single life –  again.  I had to pause for a moment before words could form in my mind.  I realized that over the past three months I had not identified myself as being single, again.

This journey has caused me to go into deep reflection over choices I have made, choices I didn’t make and accepting the blessings and outcomes of it all.  It leaves me with only one way to answer that person’s question –

I don’t feel single. I don’t feel alone at all. I have found that I am settling into the person God wants me to be.

Wow. It has taken me 25 years to get this.  Life is not about being single or being married. Life is about love – perfect love.  For God, for self, for others.  Yesterday, when I answered the question, I breathed in life – and it felt good.

The feeling I have right now is all about settling into myself and creating the space for love – pure love. This must be the feeling the character Celie felt in the Color Purple when she said, “And then I figure this the lesson I was suppose to learn.”

About a month ago while I was in Target, I picked up the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. My co-worker recommended the book to me many months ago, but I never bothered to take an interest in it. I wasn’t in a hurry to read a book about a woman’s wonderful travels all over the world eating great food. I am so glad that I chose to buy this book, and I think the Universe knew exactly the time I needed to read it!

This is not a book review, but a story of how I was inspired by the book to pursue my own spiritual life. I grew up in a very small Baptist Church, old-time Baptist Church, and for all my life the word “meditate” felt like it meant I would be cheating on God. Meditate to who? Isn’t that what Buddhists do? So I’m sitting here reading Eat, Pray, Love, and I see so much of myself in this book. I see me trying to go deeper with God, trying to be still more, trying to be joyful and just live. Breathe.

Elizabeth’s own spiritual journey inspired me, but so does Russell Simmons. Two totally different people with totally different backgrounds, but yet each seems to have found that place of peace that only comes when you are in tune with your spirituality. He talks about his belief in practicing yoga and meditation in a way that I’ve never heard a Christian say before. Russell truly believes that yoga brings you in communion with God. He also says the “closest thing we can have to the Holy Spirit in our body is our breath.” Now this is the type of meditation I can live with.

So, I’ll continue to write and let you know how my journey is going. I pray that I won’t bore you death. I do intend to eat, pray & love!

Thursday afternoon was the last afternoon 2009 would see. It was also the last afternoon a toddler in Rayville, Louisiana would see. I pulled up our local news yesterday to find the following article about a 3 year old boy who accidentally shot and killed his 3 year old cousin with his father’s pistol, issued to him by the Rayville Police Department.

Rayville police responded to a shooting Thursday afternoon that resulted in the death of a 3-year-old girl, the niece of a police officer apparently shot by his 3-year-old son.

Sheriff Charles McDonald said the Rayville Police Department received a call around 2:30 p.m. about a possible shooting on Waldorf Street.

McDonald said an off-duty Rayville officer was visiting another off-duty officer.

He said two children were playing in the front yard.

McDonald said when the visiting officer arrived at the residence, he turned to the inside of his vehicle to get something. While he was turned, the boy walked up and picked up the officer’s firearm, which was in the driver’s side door. McDonald said the boy pulled the trigger and accidently shot the girl, killing her instantly.

McDonald called the incident a “tragic accident.”

The names of the officers and the children involved were not immediately released.

The only thing I can imagine being more horrific than witnessing such a tragic accident is being the parent of the child that passed away. There are so many things we can think after accidents happen, but once something is done, it’s done. I’ve had heated debates about how overly protective I am of my children. I’ve heard people say, “No one is going to do such-and-such to my child because they know if they did, I would {insert action here}.” The point is, once it is done there is nothing you can do to undo it. No matter what your response is, the situation still is what it was to begin with.

When it comes to children, you can’t have afterthoughts. You can’t live reactively. You have to think proactively. You can’t take action on the backend. You have to be careful on the front end. You have to think about the what-ifs of life in advance. Once it’s too late, there is no going back… and when accidents turn fatal, there is no fixing it… there is no learning from it… There is only regret and emptiness, and trying to find enough comfort to move on. Taking care of children is a job that never ends. Being aware of what is around when children are present is often a draining chore. You constantly have to make sure that there is nothing small they can choke on, nothing harmful they can reach to put in their mouth…

When you become comfortable with certain things being around children, that is when you stop being so aware. I’m certainly not placing blame or pointing fingers. Accidents do happen, unfortunately. When they do, it’s time for the rest of us to hold our children tightly, thankful that this time it wasn’t us… it wasn’t our child… but learning from that parent’s pain and loss to prevent the same thing from happening to our family. My heart goes out to EVERY parent who has lost a child and my prayers are with this family as they process the grief of knowing this little girl is gone… and this little boy who will grow up to understand that it was his hand that pulled the trigger. I hope that he is not traumatized.

That being said, this is my plea to EVERY person who owns any type of firearm that ever has a chance of coming into contact with a child: keep it locked up… keep it out of reach… and certainly never leave the safety off. This was an accident… and my heart bleeds for the pain these people are going through, but like most accidents, a mistake was made that caused a tragedy which could have been prevented.

Be careful. Be aware. Think ahead.