Comments on: This Is Why *The Talk* Is So Important!!! http://colloquymoms.com/2010/02/this-is-why-the-talk-is-so-important/ Let's get colloquial ... join the fun, join the conversation! Sun, 25 Jul 2010 00:53:39 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Kat Robertson http://colloquymoms.com/2010/02/this-is-why-the-talk-is-so-important/comment-page-1/#comment-1604 Kat Robertson Mon, 08 Feb 2010 19:25:54 +0000 http://colloquymoms.com/?p=637#comment-1604 My prayer for this child is the same. God has a way of extracting miracles from horrible situations. My prayer for this child is the same. God has a way of extracting miracles from horrible situations.

]]> By: Kat Robertson http://colloquymoms.com/2010/02/this-is-why-the-talk-is-so-important/comment-page-1/#comment-1603 Kat Robertson Mon, 08 Feb 2010 19:24:32 +0000 http://colloquymoms.com/?p=637#comment-1603 You honestly think that if this mother had these discussions with this child that it would not have stopped what was happening in that house??? Seriously? I couldn't disagree more. I think that it is ludicrous to say that the mother is to blame for not being aware of what was going on, but couldn't have made a difference by talking with her daughter about what is and is not appropriate and instilling in her the understanding that she can ALWAYS talk to her mom about ANYTHING. It takes something being revealed for a person to be aware of something. You can't put a muzzle on the child and expect that to remove a blindfold from the mom. It's not going to happen that way. It's easy to say there are "subtle" warning signs, but most people don't recognize them as warning signs until AFTER they have the realization that something happened. Hindsight is always 20/20. If you are not going to be comfortable speaking with your child about sex or inappropriate adult behavior at that age, you could potentially be putting your child in danger or at very least putting her at a huge disadvantage. That is my very strong opinion. You may want your child to be a child for as long as possible - I think we ALL want that, but not providing our girls with essential knowledge for their own safety is not going to maintain their childhood or their innocence. It will only ensure that they remain naive. Unless you plan to homeschool and have your child with you 24 hours a day in order to shield her from society, you keeping information about sex from her only means that she will be receiving the wrong information from sources you can't trust. I have four daughters ages 19 months, 4, 7, and 10 and I have an 8 year old son. I also have the experience of my own childhood and adolescence. Please believe me when I tell you that they know MUCH more than you think they do - and most of it is inaccurate and paints a picture much different than what you would like them to have about matters of sex. If you don't create the foundation, you are going to be too late. I hope you will think about it more... Being truthful and proactive with your children doesn't take their childhood from them. It only makes their childhood safer for them. You honestly think that if this mother had these discussions with this child that it would not have stopped what was happening in that house??? Seriously? I couldn’t disagree more. I think that it is ludicrous to say that the mother is to blame for not being aware of what was going on, but couldn’t have made a difference by talking with her daughter about what is and is not appropriate and instilling in her the understanding that she can ALWAYS talk to her mom about ANYTHING. It takes something being revealed for a person to be aware of something. You can’t put a muzzle on the child and expect that to remove a blindfold from the mom. It’s not going to happen that way. It’s easy to say there are “subtle” warning signs, but most people don’t recognize them as warning signs until AFTER they have the realization that something happened. Hindsight is always 20/20.

If you are not going to be comfortable speaking with your child about sex or inappropriate adult behavior at that age, you could potentially be putting your child in danger or at very least putting her at a huge disadvantage. That is my very strong opinion. You may want your child to be a child for as long as possible – I think we ALL want that, but not providing our girls with essential knowledge for their own safety is not going to maintain their childhood or their innocence. It will only ensure that they remain naive. Unless you plan to homeschool and have your child with you 24 hours a day in order to shield her from society, you keeping information about sex from her only means that she will be receiving the wrong information from sources you can’t trust.

I have four daughters ages 19 months, 4, 7, and 10 and I have an 8 year old son. I also have the experience of my own childhood and adolescence. Please believe me when I tell you that they know MUCH more than you think they do – and most of it is inaccurate and paints a picture much different than what you would like them to have about matters of sex. If you don’t create the foundation, you are going to be too late. I hope you will think about it more… Being truthful and proactive with your children doesn’t take their childhood from them. It only makes their childhood safer for them.

]]> By: PlaiduhPus http://colloquymoms.com/2010/02/this-is-why-the-talk-is-so-important/comment-page-1/#comment-1602 PlaiduhPus Mon, 08 Feb 2010 18:12:06 +0000 http://colloquymoms.com/?p=637#comment-1602 Tragically, but statistically speaking, not surprisingly, the majority of the cases where young girls become preganant under 13 happen because of incest and molestation. No amount of "the talk" could have stopped what was happening in that house. The error was not on the mother's part for not discussing sex sooner, but for not being aware of what was going on in her daughter's life and husband's mind. Many women will initially say that they never saw it coming, but there were usually subtle warning signs of abuse that these women chose to ignore for the sake of their marriage and own happiness. I don't know that I will be comfortable speaking to my daughter about sex at that age. I believe children should be allowed to be children for as long as possible. However, as a victim of abuse and a mother who NEVER had the talk with me, I agree whole heartedly that too few parents are raising their own children anymore. It's a terrible sign of the state our world is in. Tragically, but statistically speaking, not surprisingly, the majority of the cases where young girls become preganant under 13 happen because of incest and molestation. No amount of “the talk” could have stopped what was happening in that house. The error was not on the mother’s part for not discussing sex sooner, but for not being aware of what was going on in her daughter’s life and husband’s mind. Many women will initially say that they never saw it coming, but there were usually subtle warning signs of abuse that these women chose to ignore for the sake of their marriage and own happiness. I don’t know that I will be comfortable speaking to my daughter about sex at that age. I believe children should be allowed to be children for as long as possible. However, as a victim of abuse and a mother who NEVER had the talk with me, I agree whole heartedly that too few parents are raising their own children anymore. It’s a terrible sign of the state our world is in.

]]> By: Jael Custom Designs http://colloquymoms.com/2010/02/this-is-why-the-talk-is-so-important/comment-page-1/#comment-1598 Jael Custom Designs Mon, 08 Feb 2010 15:46:32 +0000 http://colloquymoms.com/?p=637#comment-1598 I am so upset I can't even begin to put my anger into words! I do agree that we should talk to our children about sex before it's too late. My mom started to talk to me at eight or nine years old. I have a ten year old and thirteen year old daughter that I have spoken to about sex. My thirteen year old actually took sex ed this year in 7th grade. I went through all her lessons with her and we have a good relationship where we can communicate. I hope it doesn't change too much as she gets older but, I know my child and I always remind her that I was once her age so anything she may try to get away with I've probably been there & done that! My heart goes out to that little girl, I can't even begin to imagine what she must be going through emotionally, mentally and physically! My prayers go out to her. I hope she has the strength and support to overcome this and rise above it. I am so upset I can’t even begin to put my anger into words! I do agree that we should talk to our children about sex before it’s too late. My mom started to talk to me at eight or nine years old. I have a ten year old and thirteen year old daughter that I have spoken to about sex. My thirteen year old actually took sex ed this year in 7th grade. I went through all her lessons with her and we have a good relationship where we can communicate. I hope it doesn’t change too much as she gets older but, I know my child and I always remind her that I was once her age so anything she may try to get away with I’ve probably been there & done that! My heart goes out to that little girl, I can’t even begin to imagine what she must be going through emotionally, mentally and physically! My prayers go out to her. I hope she has the strength and support to overcome this and rise above it.

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