Fail

I just watched this ABC clip which causes me to question the effectiveness of the sex offender registry if closer tabs aren’t being kept on certain red flag individuals. In one case, a court psych expert warned that a man would be a continued danger to underage girls yet he was released from prison and is now under investigation for the murder of a young girl as well as the disappearance of another.

Police believe a convicted sex offender arrested in the disappearance of San Diego high school student Chelsea King raped and murdered the girl. Arrested on suspicion of first degree murder and forcible rape, John Albert Gardner III, 30, was taken into custody Sunday after police found physical evidence linking him to King, a 17-year-old high school senior who vanished Feb. 25 while jogging in a park north of San Diego. – ABC News

I’m not naive enough to believe there is any possible way of having resources to know where every registered sex offender is at all times, but there has to be a better system in place to keep society safe from dangerous, sadistic people. The court was fully aware of the warning signs presented by this particular evaluation but ignored it. what happened to being proactive? There must come a point where reacting to a crime isn’t good enough. Why should someone have to die before perfectly obvious behavior patterns are acted upon?

There are so many angles that have to be considered when it comes to a person’s ability to be rehabilitated. Some people simply have a sickness about them that can’t be cured. When are we going to learn that putting these people back into the streets over and over again is going to result in the same tragedies? How many victims do they have to create in our communities before something more is done?

What are your thoughts on the current state of the justice system in respect to sexual predators? Comment below or join the discussion in our forums.

{ Click here to watch the video }

There is nothing more heartbreaking than hearing that yet another young girl has had her life completely changed forever by having sex too young, out of wedlock, and giving birth to a child. Oh, wait… there is something more heartbreaking – finding out that there is an 11 year old going through what used to be considered ‘teen parenthood’ … Only now, it has come to light that DNA results have proven that the father of her child is actually her mother’s husband, who has apparently been having sex with his step daughter sometimes as often as three times per week since she was SIX years old. Now, this entire situation has taken on a completely different dynamic. Now, it has reached a new level of heartbreaking.

My heart hurts. My head hurts. My blood is boiling! A few weeks ago, I wrote an article entitled Way Too Much Sex on my blog. Parents are often hesitant to talk to their children about sex – or anything related to it – until they feel their child is old enough. NEWSFLASH: By the time you *think* they are old enough, they’re probably *too* old for “The Talk” because they already know more than what you’re about to tell them. What’s more important than TEACHING your kids about sex itself is actually opening dialog about matters pertaining to it, such as molestation and inappropriate touching. Those are topics your child should NOT be fearful about discussing with you. By never bringing them up, you’re telling them that those aren’t topics you welcome from them… and chances are, if they are ever put in a horrible situation like this girl was, their perpetrator is going to be reaffirming that notion by convincing them that they will get into trouble themselves if they tell.

DO NOT LET SOMEONE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR CHILD because you chose to remain silent. This man was having sex with this little girl for five years. It took her getting pregnant and giving birth at 11 years of age for the truth to come out. Now, not only is she at risk physically from the hormones and other potential damage this pregnancy has exposed her little body to, but she is a mother. Emotionally… mentally… what does that mean in her life right now? What does it mean for her life in 10 years? What will that mean for her child? This man has potentially ruined several lives by his actions. I wonder if he cares about any of them except his own. That is highly doubtful. He’s a sick, twisted animal whose only concern is for his own desires… Unfortunately, there are people like him everywhere.

Parents, no one is going to protect your child like you will. I feel so bad for this little girl. She’s just a year older than my daughter who turned ten yesterday. I cannot imagine the anguish I would feel, knowing that someone had violated her trust in such a way… and knowing that she didn’t trust me enough to help her. Your children are counting on you to keep them safe.

Are you doing all you can to ensure that happens?

You can join the discussion by commenting below, or carrying your opinions over to our Discussion Forum thread covering this topic.

Thursday afternoon was the last afternoon 2009 would see. It was also the last afternoon a toddler in Rayville, Louisiana would see. I pulled up our local news yesterday to find the following article about a 3 year old boy who accidentally shot and killed his 3 year old cousin with his father’s pistol, issued to him by the Rayville Police Department.

Rayville police responded to a shooting Thursday afternoon that resulted in the death of a 3-year-old girl, the niece of a police officer apparently shot by his 3-year-old son.

Sheriff Charles McDonald said the Rayville Police Department received a call around 2:30 p.m. about a possible shooting on Waldorf Street.

McDonald said an off-duty Rayville officer was visiting another off-duty officer.

He said two children were playing in the front yard.

McDonald said when the visiting officer arrived at the residence, he turned to the inside of his vehicle to get something. While he was turned, the boy walked up and picked up the officer’s firearm, which was in the driver’s side door. McDonald said the boy pulled the trigger and accidently shot the girl, killing her instantly.

McDonald called the incident a “tragic accident.”

The names of the officers and the children involved were not immediately released.

The only thing I can imagine being more horrific than witnessing such a tragic accident is being the parent of the child that passed away. There are so many things we can think after accidents happen, but once something is done, it’s done. I’ve had heated debates about how overly protective I am of my children. I’ve heard people say, “No one is going to do such-and-such to my child because they know if they did, I would {insert action here}.” The point is, once it is done there is nothing you can do to undo it. No matter what your response is, the situation still is what it was to begin with.

When it comes to children, you can’t have afterthoughts. You can’t live reactively. You have to think proactively. You can’t take action on the backend. You have to be careful on the front end. You have to think about the what-ifs of life in advance. Once it’s too late, there is no going back… and when accidents turn fatal, there is no fixing it… there is no learning from it… There is only regret and emptiness, and trying to find enough comfort to move on. Taking care of children is a job that never ends. Being aware of what is around when children are present is often a draining chore. You constantly have to make sure that there is nothing small they can choke on, nothing harmful they can reach to put in their mouth…

When you become comfortable with certain things being around children, that is when you stop being so aware. I’m certainly not placing blame or pointing fingers. Accidents do happen, unfortunately. When they do, it’s time for the rest of us to hold our children tightly, thankful that this time it wasn’t us… it wasn’t our child… but learning from that parent’s pain and loss to prevent the same thing from happening to our family. My heart goes out to EVERY parent who has lost a child and my prayers are with this family as they process the grief of knowing this little girl is gone… and this little boy who will grow up to understand that it was his hand that pulled the trigger. I hope that he is not traumatized.

That being said, this is my plea to EVERY person who owns any type of firearm that ever has a chance of coming into contact with a child: keep it locked up… keep it out of reach… and certainly never leave the safety off. This was an accident… and my heart bleeds for the pain these people are going through, but like most accidents, a mistake was made that caused a tragedy which could have been prevented.

Be careful. Be aware. Think ahead.

*Ahem*

I just finished listening to Rihanna’s “Russian Roulette” and I am at a loss for words. Okay, so I’m never at a *loss* for words, but you know what I mean. The pit of my stomach is queasy just knowing that an army of insecure, vulnerable, and impressionable young girls who idolize this ‘artist’ are listening to a song that – in a time of uncertainty and depression – would encourage them to commit suicide. You want to entertain the notion that I’m blowing it out of proportion? Tell that to every mother who has scrubbed her child’s brain off a wall after having shot him/herself while listening to an iPod – or a Walkman.

Music is powerful. Think of all your favorite songs – you catch a feeling every time you hear one. They remind you of things… they take you back to places… they cause you to reflect… they help you to escape… they can comfort you, enrage you… studies have shown that music can even cause a person to crave sex. Now, consider the unstable mind of a teenage girl who has just been through what she considers to be a traumatic situation… she’s sitting in her room crying, thinking of how pointless life is and how no one loves her and she doesn’t fit in anywhere. Then she switches on the radio and is met with the words, “…so just pull the trigger…” Maybe none of you have ever been that lonely, self-destructive teenager – but I have… and this song concerns me deeply.

Rihanna has lost her everloving mind. I’m sorry, but I think Chris Brown knocked something loose. In case you haven’t heard the song for yourself:

LYRICS

Take a breath, take it deep – Calm yourself, he says to me
If you play, you play for keeps – Take a gun, and count to three
I’m sweating now, moving slow – No time to think, my turn to go

And you can see my heart beating – You can see it through my chest
That I’m terrified but I’m not leaving – Know that I must pass this test
So just pull the trigger

Say a prayer to yourself – He says, close you eyes
Sometimes it helps – And then I get a scary thought
That he’s here means he’s never lost

And you can see my heart beating – You can see it through my chest
That I’m terrified but I’m not leaving – Know that I must pass this test
So just pull the trigger

As my life flashes before my eyes – I’m wondering will I ever see another sunrise?
So many won’t get the chance to say goodbye
But it’s too late to think of the value of my life

Am I overreacting? What do you think?

Leave a comment below and let me know!

A couple of days ago, a 9 year old little girl came up missing… In recent years, I’ve noticed a drastic increase in missing persons  cases that are children… and way too many stories about children coming up dead. My oldest child is nine years old… she will be 10 in February. I look at her and I cannot imagine how it must feel for a parent to realize their child has gone missing… Just thinking about gives my heart a feeling of terror. There is no nightmare comparable to that reality… to face the fact that we are living in a world full of rapists and murderers… a world full of individuals who are sick and twisted and who prey on the innocent and defenseless members of our society – they take advantage of the weaknesses in the elderly and the young.

It’s a haunting thought… how can a child fall victim to such a heinous crime?

Then… the little girl’s ‘body’ is found – and it is not a middle aged, mentally challenged, psychotic man with prior child-related offenses on his record that we’re glaring down at looking for answers; no, there is a 15 year old child in the hotseat who is apparently responsible for the death of this little girl. So now, not only do we have to be wary of pathetic pedophiles; not only are demented adult sickos after our children, but now – now, we must protect our children from CHILDREN as well, and not just the bully kind that wants a buck at lunch every day.

My mind takes me back to a time I once heard of where villages were involved in raising – and protecting – children. During that time, children could play in the street, walk to town, stay outside from dawn to dusk riding bikes and being mischievous – and there was no question of whether or not they would make it home at night. Now, we barely know our neighbors and we’re programmed to get offended if we receive any type of ‘bad’ report from someone else about our children. We don’t want people in our business… Today, we’re doing good if we manage to wave to the people on our block a couple of times a week. How many of your neighbors can you call by name {without them wondering if you’ve been pilfering through their mail to get their information}?

I personally believe that we have traded our safety for privacy at a very precious price. We’ve sacrificed the security of the village and now, we’re losing our children – in more ways than one.

A couple of weeks ago, I’m sure everyone heard about a man who slapped the 2 year old child of a complete stranger in Walmart. Aside | from | a few | harmless | tweets, I’ve maintained my silence on this issue for the most part – until today

I’ve seen people knock the crap out of their kids in WalMart… you know, the whole “PUT-THAT-DOWN!”-*smack!* kind of thing. But never… NEVER… have I ever seen anyone knock the crap out of someone ELSE’s kid in WalMart. Until now.

Ok, granted *I* didn’t personally see it, but just the mental visualization is enough in itself. I’ve pondered many a day over this situation and no matter how I look at it, I just keep coming back to the same question: HOW did this man get his hands on this woman’s kid with her standing there? The report says that the man WARNED the mother to quiet her 2 year old daughter or HE would. This would be immediately become a problem for me. Did you just THREATEN my toddler? {I would have been asking this question rhetorically as I was taking off my earrings and rolling back my sleeves.}

I think the thing that bothers me the most about this whole ordeal is that I keep being burdened by the question of WHO is going to protect our children if WE don’t? I mean, seriously – think this through from beginning to end:

You’re walking along through WalMart with your 2 year old kid in the buggy. You’ve been in there a while. The kid is bored… she’s just entered into the terrible-two world of autonomy, limitation stretching, and boundary breaking. She was ready to GO like 20 minutes ago, but you’re only got a fewwww things left to grab. So, what does she do? She starts whining… and it gradually gets increasingly louder as the minutes roll by. You’re stressed… you’re going as fast as you can. You’re doing the best you can. BREATHE. Up walks this old man and you’re thinking that – like everyone else – he’s going to say something about how cute your precious little girl is, but instead out pops this rude and shocking comment about shutting your kid up FOR you if you don’t do it yourself.

My reaction process would go a little like this:

1. BRAIN MELT DOWN
2. … must find keys
3. … must gouge eyes out
4. … MUST PROTECT OFFSPRING!

There just IS no other way to respond to this type of threat. I mean, this is your KID he’s talking about! Dude, I double … no, I TRIPLE-dog dare you to stick your hand over toward my cart. You don’t even have to touch it. Just ease it over this way. YOU WILL MOST DEFINITELY DRAW BACK A NUB! Yep, that’s right – one of those things without any digits on it… Anyway, back on topic – so let’s give the lady the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she ignored the comment thinking he was just being a mean old fart and not imagining in her wildest dreams he would actually DO anything. BUT, oh dear Lord…

The man reaches over and commences to slapping this child about the FACE. Re-peat-ed-ly…

All rationale and reason goes out the window at this point as far as I’m concerned. There is no right or wrong. There is no calm and collected. There is no understanding you’re an old fart. There is only THAT IS MY KID YOU’RE HITTING! But, this mother actually allows for enough time for her child to be struck at least 4 times.

I’m getting a headache just trying to wrap my mind around that.

FOUR … count with me … 1 … 2 … 3 … 4 … FOUR times this man struck this little girl. And the mom is SCREAMING at him. Really? He has enough time to extend and retract his arm FOUR times while popping the little apple-of-your-eye in the FACE and I have to assume that there is some type of genetic issue with your arms which prevented you from DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT!?

Look, people… I won’t drag this out to be a terribly long post. All of this is just my extremely lengthy and personally meaningful way of saying STOP letting people take advantage of you! I don’t know what on God’s green earth leads a person to believe it to be acceptable for them to put their hands on someone else’s child… There are some freakin crazies in the world – no doubt about it. That being said, I don’t care what type of fear or apprehension you would have on a normal day, but on a day where some stranger grabs your kid and starts trying to knock her ear wax out through her nostril, I would hope to HEAVEN that you do something to put at end to the abuse prior to lick number FOUR.

What do you think?

Did the mother handle this in a way the typical mother would respond? Am I just some psycho crazy mama, assuming that others would be willing to go to war for their children since, clearly, I would? I’d love to know your thoughts on this situation. I’ve even heard it suggested that the mother was neglectful in allowing this to happen to her child right in front of her. What do you say to that? Post a comment at the bottom of this page to join in the conversation!