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So it is one of the facts of life, the life I dreamt of all my life – my husband, me & my son together forever. Until one day I woke up to the reality that although I’d been fighting for a long time, I could not fight any longer: my husband and I were splitting up.

The year of 2008 was a busy time for us. We married in January, welcomed our precious baby boy in June and bought our first house in October. Things seemed perfect. This is the life every woman could dream of.

Well, on the outside.

Fast forward to July 2009. It is a warm, summer afternoon, I was just home from work. My husband was picking up the baby boy from daycare and I was sitting on the porch excited for them to come home. He sat down next to me on the porch and said, “This isn’t working, I want a divorce.” We had only been married a little over a year and a half. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. So we pretended to be working things out for another month until we couldn’t pretend any longer. He came home one evening and said he was moving out and so began the shuffle of trying to provide some normalcy in our precious boy’s life.

We tried marriage counseling, but both parties have to be willing. Sure I’m a flawed individual, but I sure wasn’t the one who drove this ship into the ground; yet I was the only one fighting. I fasted, I prayed, and one day God spoke. He said:

“Go home.”

So, I’m here in New Mexico. After being on the east coast for the past 7 years, after establishing a life in Baltimore, I’m home in New Mexico. I have no clue what will happen today or tomorrow, let alone 5 years down the line, but I know that when God spoke to me, I listened.

The pieces to a broken heart can be mended. This is all fresh to me. I’ve only been home for 3 weeks. So I’m not sitting on a soapbox saying get over it. I’m still hurting, but I am also healing. My focus shifted from trying to please my husband, who had left our marriage long before he physically left the house, to pleasing God and making sure my son experiences joy everyday. He is so sweet and my life is devoted to making sure he has everything he needs.

I hold no bitterness towards my husband for what he has done. I pray for his healing as well because I want him to be a fantastic father to our son. Why hold on to hurt and anger when we are tied together for the rest of our lives by a blessing from God? I will let my son’s innocence and his love be my daily reminder that God is love, and we should always operate in love.

So, before the divorce papers are filed and the possible custody battle begins, I’m letting go of all hurt and anger, because we have a little boy to raise – although 2,000 miles apart – together.

3 Invaluable Tips for Mothers
Interested in Breastfeeding

I have been breastfeeding my son Landon now for two years and ten months, and if someone would have told me that I would breastfeed him this long, I would have looked at that person in disbelief. I am not only nursing a toddler — I have become an avid breastfeeding advocate and blog about my experience with it and other parenting adventures at Dagmar’s momsense (DagmarBleasdale.com). I encourage moms to breastfeed and provide them with the resources and information they might need for a successful, enjoyable experience. I want as many women as possible to learn that their health, not only their baby’s, will benefit greatly from the many advantages breastfeeding offers.

Here are three things I want every expecting or new mom to know:

1. Learn about breastfeeding long before the baby arrives: I was fortunate that I attended a couple of meeting with new, breastfeeding moms at the Pump Station in Los Angeles where it became very clear after only one hour that breastfeeding might be natural but definitely not easy. There were so many different issues those moms brought up! I think a lot of new moms get discouraged when they face stumbling blocks because they didn’t anticipate them. If you mentally prepare yourself that it might take a little while for you and the baby to figure out how to nurse correctly, it is easier to accept the challenge and stick with it. Read as much as possible about the topic, but more importantly, find a local group of breastfeeding moms (try Meetup.com) or attend La Leche League meetings while you are pregnant. The breastfeeding support and information you will garner is invaluable, and you will know whom to call when you need help.
2. Breastfeeding isn’t easy, and lining up the right support is crucial: It helped that I was determined to breastfeed — I didn’t even think to buy formula “just in case” and tossed out the samples from the hospital — but breastfeeding didn’t came naturally to me, as it doesn’t for so many women. Landon nursed every 25 minutes in the beginning, and for two weeks I was in immense pain every time he latched on. Only the second lactation specialist diagnosed Landon as a lazy baby who didn’t open his mouth nearly enough for an accurate latch. The other moms of the support group I belonged to were right — after a few days or weeks, breastfeeding doesn’t hurt if the baby latches on correctly. I was lucky to have those other moms as cheerleaders. Find your own support team — don’t be afraid to ask for help, and don’t wait to ask until you have a screaming, hungry, uncooperative baby on your hand! In the hospital, ask for the lactation consultant for guidance. If you have a midwife or doula, she will help you. I encourage every new mom to reach out to other breastfeeding moms, to call the La Leche League for free information, support, or a consultation when issues arise, or to call, e-mail, or tweet me for help. More resources or links to other organizations and groups can be found on my blog. I also have a blogroll of mommy bloggers who write about breastfeeding.
3. Breastfeeding success has a lot to do with the correct latch: Breastfeeding can be a difficult experience in the beginning, and that is usually due to the baby’s incorrect latch. A bad latch can often be corrected by trying a different position, using nipple shields, or inserting the nipple in a different way, which solved my problem immediately. Be patient with your baby and yourself — you are both getting to know each other. Find out if your baby is tongue tied or has a high palette, those are common reasons for a bad latch as well. Again, see a lactation specialist, La Leche leader, or talk to your pediatrician. Choose a pediatrician who supports your decision to breastfeed, if he or she doesn’t, find one who does!

To this day, I feel most like a mother when I am breastfeeding my son. My intuition that I would enjoy and cherish breastfeeding my child was correct, and I love the close bond it has created between us. And after learning about the many health benefits it provides not only for him but also for me, I am even more glad that he hasn’t self-weaned yet. Once he does, I will continue to enjoy helping other moms on their breastfeeding journeys, be it a short or a long one.

Dagmar Bleasdale grew up in Germany and moved to Los Angeles over 15 years ago. A married mom, she has one son who is 2 years old and still nursing. Dagmar works from home as a freelance editor, proofreader, and blogger! She started blogging to share information about breastfeeding – what she learned works and doesn’t work as well as the benefits – and to become a resource and trusted “friend” her readers can rely on for information. She is very passionate about her writing and in addition to breastfeeding, Dagmar also posts entries about Doula-assisted/unmedicated childbirth, attachment parenting, co-sleeping, natural remedies, frugal/green living, raising a healthy, creative, well-adjusted, bilingual child (without an XBox)!

It’s not easy for me to make a decision. I can stand down the toothpaste aisle for 20 minutes debating between cavity prevention and extra whitening – Which one’s cheaper? Is the brand name better? – I want to pick the right one and it’s just toothpaste! Now multiply that times a gazillion, and you’ll know how difficult it is for me to decide when to try to have my first child.

I get all the good feelings. I’ve been married nearly five years, I have a degree, a condo, successful career, and a cute dog. What else do I really want? (Besides a family, that is…) But now that I’ve decided that’s a plan I want to pursue in the near future, it’s my job to do what I can to get myself ready.

I’ve been reading news articles on “the perfect age” to have a baby. I’ve read about things to eat before conception, good ways to work out, and best positions for conception – Yes, even that. Some of it may be “full of it,” sure. But why not have fun in the planning process, and learn as much as I can along the way?

Some people call me an over-planner and premature… But I think there’s beauty in planned pregnancy. Even if it’s extra planned. And I’m excited to have created a journal full of memories I’ll remember forever about wanting to have a child… Long before I even was trying to bring that child into this world.

I’ve found joy in my journey towards motherhood, and I can’t wait to see where the rest of my road leads.

Jennifer Johnson, aka Future Mama, doesn’t believe you have to be a mom to be a “mom blogger” these days. She wants a baby, and then maybe wants a baby, and then definitely sort of wants a baby NOW! Married four years, with a successful journalism career under her belt, she’s already accomplished more than most 23 year-olds. Just no baby… yet. She’s an open book when it comes to what’s on her mind during her journey towards the inevitable baby bump, and she chronicles her voyage on her blog Baby Makin(g) Machine!

katjrobertson: Hey how would you like to be featured next week for @colloquymoms launch party?

NubianQueen06: Sure, would love too! What all would I need to do!

katjrobertson: I just need a bio, a photo, and a post with the same feel as the overall theme of your blog. Topic of your choice.

O.K, don’t panic! I can do this!

As I sit down to try and attempt to write my first official brief Bio and short (ha, ha) blog entry… I reach down on the floor of the Dining Room and pick up a pencil, now… for a clean piece of paper to start off, with no crayon drawings or magic marker hand prints! You see, at my house we have organized chaos! I know where everything is it just does not have a permanent home, yet.

We have no cable, satellite, or Internet. So, I would have to write down my thoughts and feelings then drive to my parents house and use their computer. Which does give me a few moments away from my lovely children. Yes, of course I love my children and family! I would not be able to Homeschool them for the now 9th year if I did not.

Let me start again by introducing my self, on the Internet I like to be known as Nubian or NubianQueen. I’ve been a stay-at-home Mom for 12 years give or take a few weeks of seasonal work like the U.S. Census. For the most part I’ve been home, what I hear a lot of is, “Oh, how fortunate you are to be able to stay at home.” Well it’s mostly been about making sacrifices! But, yes I do believe it has been a joy and a blessing!

New chapter of my life does begins today… Monday August 10th is the BIG day! I begin a job outside of the home! Although, I would love to be one of those Mom’s with wildly successful blogs or stay at home jobs, this blogging thing is all new to me! So, it ain’t happening yet! “It’s time to make the donuts.” (That’s from an old commercial, if you are younger than thirty you may not know or remember it!) LOL

So, with my background being in Communications in the Air Force (Served during Desert Storm). I set out to fill out some job applications! Do you know how intimidating that was? After almost 12 years of no employment, I was forgetting dates, having to just wing it! But, sticking to the truth and not fudging. The hardest part was filling the missing dates when I worked here and there for a few weeks at a time. Well, it all paid off, as today is Orientation! Don’t want to say to much I still have to pass a week of cramming in information! Plus go home and cook, organize my children and get ready for the next day! The one other good thing about this is my lil soldier guy will have to wean from breastmilk, WooHoo! Oh, did I say that out loud! At the rate he was going, he was going to be asking for milk on his wedding day! “Mother, may I have a sip of milk from the bitty, please Mother Dear!?” Welcome to the real world (right).

Ciao for now!

NubianQueen operates NubianQueen06.blogspot.com. She is the wife of a preacher, has been married 22 years, and has four children: PamperedPrincess (13.5), FashionDiva (12), NubianPrincess (9), and Lil Soldier Boy (2.5). Her passions include surfing the internet, amateur blogging, Homeschooling (9 years), gardening, amateur canner/preserver of jam, entrepreneur, and most importantly: keeper of her Home! She served in the Air Force for 5 years and 1 day. (Desert Storm) Be sure to check out her blog. You may also follow her on Twitter @NubianQueen06!