Posts Tagged ‘Social Media’

Before anyone starts to hyperventilate about the title, let me just add… “at least it seems to be for me…” I do believe I have become conditioned to think in 140-character increments. Something I can’t explain in 140 characters? Oh, that’s fine. I’ll blog it. Something I don’t feel like writing? No problemo! I’ll just vlog it. No one seems to be responding on Twitter? Hahah… no worries! Facebook and MySpace are always there to save the day I’ve developed a dependency on being plugged in. I cook in 5 minute intervals… stir, whip, spray, pour, flip … RUN TO CHECK TWEETDECK! … And, oh wait… what’s this? {I LOST A FOLLOWER?!} What did I say? Did I do something wrong? The horror!

“Hi, my name is Kathleen and I have an internet addiction. Moreso than that, I am addicted to social media.“

It’s becoming such a problem that I cannot repeat what someone says without the overwhelming urge to precede their statement with RT. When I laugh, “LOL” crosses my mind. When I get frustrated, *ugh* flashes before my eyes. SOMEONE HELP ME… My reality is being taken over by – gasp – the virtual world! I wake up in the morning and no matter how badly I have to pee, the first thing on my mind is, “Oh my, I’ve been sleeping for a whole FOUR hours… must.Check.EMAIL!” If I stop at a red light, you guessed it… I’ve got Twitter, MySpace, and Facebook on group speed text so that I can update on the fly

I can’t take a photo without uploading it to DropShots. I can’t even cook a large meal without TwitPic-ing it. Videos? Directly to YouTube! I stalk my site stats. “Hmmm… I wonder who that is from Denver?  … Wow! Someone in Baton Rouge viewed 387 pages. *What, no comments?!?!?* … Wow my visitors have increased by 33% since last month. YAY!” If I’m not going to be around, I schedule tweets with HootSuite. To avoid being late posting my Wordless Wednesday meme post, I schedule it too. LOL If my internet signal goes weak and I can’t connect, I start panicking. Like – seriously – panicking. As in, someone-hand-me-a-paper-bag panicking…

What’s my point? Social media is my drug of choice. What is it about everyone knowing my every move, and vise versa, that is so super appealing to me? Why can’t I just walk away and not wonder who is LOLing or who is OMGing or who has @mentioned me and without caring whether or not anyone has ‘liked’ my new status? What am I – a networking crackhead? Even famous quotes become distorted in this tormented little mind of mine – like “as a man thinketh, he shall SO blog.”

I need therapy.

Ahhh… I think I’ll choose the poor man’s alternative: I’ll lay down and tweet about it

Written by KAT ROBERTSON
Originally posted on MomDot.com